


Like So

by sue_denimme



Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-01-29
Updated: 2012-01-29
Packaged: 2017-10-30 07:50:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 980
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/329483
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sue_denimme/pseuds/sue_denimme
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The thoughts of Martha and the Doctor at the end of Smith and Jones.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Like So

"I only go for humans."

 _Maybe because I've only ever met humans, until now._ I don't say that bit, though.

I haven't had a lot of experience with romance, I'll admit. Too busy, between my studies and the powder keg I call a family. I never thought I'd even think of letting myself seriously fancy anyone until I was fully qualified. Let alone a patient. Let alone a patient who turns out to be an alien with a blue box that's bigger on the inside and travels through time.

But there's just something about him. Besides the time machine, I mean. It's not his looks, though he's definitely got it going on in that department, with those molten brown eyes, that perpetually mussed hair, and that form-fitting suit... where was I?

Oh yeah, like I said, it's not his looks. It's the way he radiates intelligence like the sun radiates heat. It's the lively, offbeat charisma that drew me in from the moment he winked at me, while two heartbeats echoed in my ears. It's how vibrant and vital he seemed, how interested he was in everything, how far he was prepared to go to save a thousand strangers.

And there must be something about me, too, beyond the fact that I helped him. Why else would he show me his time machine, push the door open in invitation, offer me a trip?

He tells me he sometimes has "friends" who travel with him. He mentions one called Rose, and that they were "together", but she's gone now, back with her family. He doesn't say anything further, but I can draw my own conclusions. They're confirmed when I flirt openly, testing the waters, and his response is to give me a long warning look and say, "Stop it."

Yet I can still feel the memory of his lips pressed against mine.

True, he said it was only a "genetic transfer". And it did exactly what he needed it to do at the time. Surely, though, there were other ways he could have left his mark on me to slow down the Judoon. A handshake or something. But he chose to kiss me. Not a brotherly peck, either. A real kiss. (And oh god, does he know how to kiss.)

He's lonely. That much is obvious. He invited me not just to thank me, but because he wants and needs company. He's just not ready for more yet.

Or maybe he just thinks he isn't. We'll see.

***

Kissing her -- probably a mistake.

Now she's talking about tight suits, and traveling across the universe to ask her on a date, and she's got that look. I haven't lived nine hundred plus years without ever seeing that look before. That sideways glance, that tilt of the hips. Not often aimed my way, mind, until recently. This incarnation seems to have a kind of -- well, something -- that previous ones have generally lacked. Can't help it, it's just one of those quirks of regeneration.

For the fleetingest moment, I think perhaps I ought to tell her I've changed my mind, toss her out and move on. Well, not literally toss her. Hmm, that would hardly be fair, though, would it? I invited her, after all. I know I'm rude sometimes, but only when my thoughts are going too fast for my inner censor to keep up -- usually. Sometimes I do mean it. But not in this case. She did save my life today, getting both my hearts started again. I'd probably have regenerated anyway, true, but I'd prefer to hold onto this body as long as I can. It's a good body, after all.

Anyway, you'd almost think I'd allowed her to find out about the two hearts thing just so she could do that later, but at the time the only thing I was thinking was that I wouldn't go backward into established events for the sake of a cheap trick -- and I'd definitely call taking off my tie in front of her this morning a cheap trick -- without what I thought was a really good reason. Therefore, she must be someone worth making an impression on.

I think I've succeeded.

I wasn't looking to gain another companion. Then again, I never am. I just sort of end up with them. But I think I've gotten good at spotting who would do well in the TARDIS, and this one does have a lot of potential. She's clever, concerned, brave, adaptable -- she encountered a lot today that was far beyond the experience of most humans of her era, and she took it mostly in stride. Good signs, those.

It's just that I still can't quite picture myself with anyone but Rose. There were others before her, but none that I got quite so close to. It's been a while now since she was lost to me, yet it still feels much too soon, and almost like a betrayal, to pick someone else up and just go on with them as if she never existed. I don't want to, and yet I've got to. Donna was right, I do need someone. Having all of time and space and the marvels of the universe at my fingertips is no good without being able to look at it through another person's eyes, see their wonder, know they'd never have gotten to feel that without me. Rose would understand, I think.

I can overlook this attraction thing. Or better yet, put it out of my mind, like I do after I meet myself. Give Martha her one trip -- maybe two -- then say goodbye. She'll get over it, no harm done.

Get over what?

Shakespeare's time -- haven't been then for several regenerations now. Better make it before my previous visits, though. Would explain why he's never seemed surprised to meet me.

I pull the hand brake, and we're off.

 

~end


End file.
